Where it all began…..

Evening all.

No song lyric title tonight (well it is, but it’s Take That and I just don’t wanna go there!).

Today has been a big day, today Big M turned 4. She assures me she’s taller and she was asleep before her head hit the pillow which are both signs of a well enjoyed day. In fact were I not here typing this I would also be asleep but I have too many things I will forget if I don’t write now. As any busy mum will tell you, if you don’t seize the moment there is a high chance the thing you wanted to say or do will never happen!

So yes Big M turns 4. It struck me this morning that she was the reason this blog came to pass in the first place. I started it as a space for me to verbalise how bloody shit scared I was about having kids under the guise of a funny-look at me passing the time-style blog. Yet somehow we are now fours years and a baby sister down the line and the blog has continued (alright pretty sporadically but hey I’ve been busy) so anyway I thought I should mark the occasion with a post.

This morning was a bit different in that ever since I’ve been running regularly Big M has been hounding me to come with. Whilst I am thrilled at the prospect of inspiring and motivating her, from a totally selfish standpoint I am not so thrilled at having to piggy back her round the course and still coming last (which has actually happened). So we have been waiting until today, when she was officially old enough, to give junior parkrun a try.

After a few weeks of instilling the mantra “what does parkrun mean? No carries!” she was super excited this morning when she opened up her pressies and found a bag full of running goodies. I’m not gonna lie I had a bit of kit envy to be fair and once she was ready to go she really did look the part.

Now many a time in my life I have been likened to a duck, all calm and serene on top whilst paddling like fuck below the surface and today was no different. No one tells you that when you have littles you now not only get nerves for yourself you get it for them as well. Super! And how do I deal with those nerves? I plan… and prepare…..like a ninja. Therefore whilst smiling, and chivvying, and bigging up the running we managed to effortlessly sail out the door in good time. And when I say good time I mean we were 45 minutes early. The OH was not impressed, especially when I insisted we drive laps of the park but not actually stopping too near because we obviously didnt want to be seen to be too keen. Quite why I was nervous Im not sure, I run parkrun regularly and its fine. I think its just when I look and see this tiny face full of anticipation and excitement I don’t want anything bad to happen. I didnt want her to fall, I didnt want her change her mind and never do it again and most of all I didnt want her to be bothered about coming last…which was a very real possibility and which in fact did happen.

But do you know what, as is always the way with anxiety, the reality was so much better than the worry. She loved it! Ran some, walked some, told everyone who would listen that it was her birthday, decided 20 metres in she wanted to go home, changed her mind, wanted mum, wanted dad and then even pulled out a sprint finish past all the supporters to raptuous applause. What a little hero. Our little hero. I could not have been prouder. It was also so refreshing that due I guess to her age, coming last was not even on her radar. As far as she was concerned she had done it and that was the goal of the day. What a brilliant outlook and definately one I need to adopt more. I think as we get older the pressures put upon us to always achieve, always strive to win, be the best etc sometimes get in the way of just doing things. For fun, just because.

Anyway post run we headed for swimming at a pool with slides (family tradition) where it turns out little M is fearless to a worrying degree. Had I let her she would have flung herself down the biggest shoot without a second hesitation. Today however she had to settle for sitting on my lap, arms in the air “scream if you wanna go faster” style. At one point I saw her confidently striding down the pool towards the OH not a care in the world until she was completely submerged. It was only then that the realisation kicked in she can’t actually swim yet. Good save OH!

Post swim we were ready to eat, like seriously eat. However so was every other Tom, Dick and Harry in Bath so we found out, having to visit 7 Italians before we could get a table. First world probleems right?! Who knew pasta was the order of the day on a Sunday?! Anyhoo in true kid fashion the girls covered themselves in sauce and tolerated their lunch until the ice cream was produced.

I on the other hand got stuck into the Prosecco, hell I’m celebrating too. With the help of the OH we have managed to get us all to this point in one piece. One functioning (barely at times ha ha!) walking, talking, on the way to being well formed family. How in the world did we do it? In my head I’m still a kid myself and I’m sure the OH would agree. Yet still we have managed to blag our way into the parenthood club and somehow we seem to have been able to keep our membership. Well done us.

Anyway all is quiet in the house now and I am gonna hit the hay. Having swapped my days at work I am still reeling at having to be anywhere pre 9am on a Monday. All thats left to do is come up with a plausible explanation as to why Big M’s wish to have her birthday everyday has not come true. You see, always blagging.

Much love and speak soon,

Lxoxo

I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring

Evening all.

Apologies for the hugely cliched quote tonight but it is hugely relevant!

I never really appreciated Bowie before yesterday. Yes I knew who he was and yes I could belt out “ground control to Major Tom” with the best of them but exactly how influencial he was on the music choices I have made my whole life I had no idea.

Growing up with two music loving parents, music has been one of the only constants in my life since day one. It has been the only thing that hasn’t let me down….ever. As soon as I became old enough to make my own selections after being fed a diet of Dire Straits, Meatloaf, Fleetwood Mac and Emmylou Harris (eclectic I know!) I gravitated towards bands with an air of the melancholy about them. Placebo, Nirvana, The Pixies, Joy Division and thats to name but a few. All of them have accompanied me through the minefield we call life. Placebo and Nirvana seeing me through my teenage angst, The Pixies and Joy Division through the various heartaches of my twenties. For every moment their has been a song, and many of them have had a reflection of Bowie in them somewhere.

And yesterday was no exception. When I put the radio on to amuse the girls through their breakfast routine and heard the news, closely followed by Heroes, I felt instantly sad. Like I remember that I was propping up the bar at the cider bus at Glastonbury when Michael Jackson died, I will always remember I was stood making a coffee at some ungodly hour when I heard about Bowie.  It may be just me, but with every musical icon that passes it feels like the loss of a long lost friend. Someone you knew long ago but haven’t heard from in forever. Yesterday I felt sad that my girls would never get excited about his music and worried that they never would about anyone with any substance (I’m sorry but 1D just do not cut it!). However then the best thing happened. Big M asked me who was playing and I told her who it was and that he had gone to live with the angels just like grandad James. Once we had overcome the slight confusion and cleared up that grandad James was not in fact David Bowie she was keen to hear more and before I knew it Big M and PD were rocking out in the living room to all the classics. I could not have been happier.

Although the pickings are slim at the moment they come from good stock (we’ll ignore Dad’s love of James Blunt and Damien Rice) and can tell a gret song when they hear one. It makes me super happy that they, like me, will have a song to accompany all of their adventures through life. Already Big M will rush to get me when she hears one of our “favourite songs” that we hear on our many car journeys and PD never fails to raise a smile when she demands “Hello from the otherside!”

Anyway coming back to the title of this post. I also have no idea where I am going. I spend all of my life it feels, winging it. My sister once likened me to a duck. Calm and serene on top and paddling like fuck underneath! I have never had a plan. Goals yes, but a plan no. It is equally both terrifying and energising at the same time. It means that my life is always an adventure and I am for the most part always motivated to see what is coming next however it raises my anxiety no end if I think about exactly how little control I have over it all. I used to be obsessed with having a plan but over the years have made peace with the fact that it’s just not me and what will be will be. I just hope that I can teach the girls in turn that being at peace with whoever they are and whatever they do is ok too. I would hate for them to grow up with the issues I did. Luckily they have the benefit of having the OH as well. He is much more together about things than I will ever be (thank goodness).

Anyhoo a little bit of a philosophical post for tonight, I promise I’ll be back on form with the next one.

In other news I failed at Dryanuary on day 8 ( have had 2 glasses of white this evening which may explain the post!), PD has yet another ear infection and I have nothing to wear to work tomorrow.

I better go and get my life in order, but before I do I’ll part with this….”Lets dance, put on your red shoes and dance the blues”. I’m pretty sure thats what he would have wanted.

Speak soon,

L xoxo

Back to life, back to reality…

Urgh! It’s back to work day tomorrow. Not for me (and even if it was I definately wouldn’t be saying urgh, because my job is ace!) but for the OH.

For the first time in years he’s had 12 whole days off and it has been bloody amazing. Just having someone around so you can sneak an extra hour in bed or pop to the shop without a merry band of usually angry followers. The kids have loved having him home and I have loved having a bit more freedom. Hats off to all you single parents out there, it is no easy job and I only have a few hours a day to get through. Also we all know how I manage that…not having my obligatory glass of vino the minute the OH walks through the door is going to be a challenge and a half tomorrow.

Tomorrow was looking pretty baron up until about half an hour ago when my lovely friend got in touch to make a date. I’m sick to the back teeth of softplays though, as are the kids, so I’m thinking maybe bowling. I’m hugely bad at it so I think even PD is in with a chance of beating my score. The fab news is that the OH doesn’t get to come on this trip either. He is a closet bowling geek and after a few failed attempts at trying to teach me to be even remotely mediocre he suggested we not go anymore as its no fun to have no competition…cheers then!

Beyond bowling the day is looking quiet and wet which is depressing. As is usually the case in a day in the life of a four year old I’m sure big M will come up with something super fun (think repetitive) for us to do. Her current favourite hobby is to ask me to close my eyes 800 times a day and then to act super surprised with any random toy / christmas decoration she presents me with. I got so bored of it the other day I suggested she play it with PD instead to which she replied no because she doesn’t “get-it”. Neither do I but I haven’t the heart to tell her.

Oh yeah I’ve also gotta take the bloody tree down tomorrow. As I’m sure is the case in most households across the UK, in the run up to Christmas I love my tree with all my heart. Primping and preening it daily and even some years giving it a name. Then the minute January comes it becomes this big spiky nuisance taking up my whole living room, that I just want gone. I know right…1st world problems. On a serious note though, the council aren’t coming to do a tree collection until the 13th Jan. What am I meant to do with it until then? All I’ll have left is a stick in a stand. Plus I’m pretty sure it’s bad luck.

Anyhoo moving on have realised I am now officially going on holiday THIS YEAR so need to get my ass in gear getting “strong”. Hell who am I kidding, I need to lose some weight and quick otherwise I’m not going. Now I have eaten everything nice in the house this shouldn’t be too hard, in all honesty if I have to eat another mince pie I might cry. I’ve worked out I can get where I want to be in 16 weeks so watch this space.

So there we have it. So far this year I have 16 weeks to lose weight, 12 events in 12 months and 28 days left of no drinking….hands up who thinks this is a recipe for disaster?

Oh yeah and in case the month ahead didn’t look bleak enough I’ve just discovered household J has head lice…again…FML. Don’t worry anyone planning to see me in the next few days with their littles, we are all treated but really if we could stop getting them sometime soon that would be fantastic.

Wow look at me all little Miss Sunshine tonight…apologies. Lack of running is making me grumpy, hopefully I can get out at some point tomorrow for a little trot to blow the cobwebs out.

I did at least manage another song lyric title. Soul II Soul as well, released in 1989 if any of you were wondering. I’m sure it’s probably only me that wonders these things but thought I would share the love nonetheless.

Happy Sunday everyone,

Speak soon,

Lx0x0

Who Runs the world? Girls!

Wowzers, look at this, January 2nd and another blog post…can you tell I am fully in the swing of New Year?!

So lets start with the Beyonce lyrics title. This is not going to be a recurring theme (I’m not that clever!). It just so happens that this song has been stuck in my head all day whilst helping my mum move house (more of that later) with not a boy shape to be seen. Unless you count the man with a van, but he even said the rain was making his make up run, so he can join the girl club too.

So where to begin. Yesterday I attempted to fill you in on two years in one post (yeah sorry about that) so today I thought I’d catch up a little more and then crack on with 2016!!

So in the past two years as with everyone, a shit load of things happened. Whoever tells you that having two kids is double the work is lying, its more. Loads more. Every task seems to take an hour minimum. Be that getting us all up and out of the house on time or brushing our teeth. By our I mean me and the littles, the OH has mastered this all by himself now! Also I seem to be perpetually busy without ever completing anything. The house is always messy, the ironing pile always overspilling and the dishwasher on repeat. However now I wouldn’t have it any other way. The kids have turned my life upside down but in the most beautiful way imaginable. I used to watch big M in wonder on a daily basis and now she has PD to hang out with I could quite easily sit and watch them all day…if only everything else could take care of itself. Knowing I am playing a part in this fantastic story that is their life is amazing to me…and also a source of massive anxiety.

As I mentioned yesterday I am a lot better than I was when I left you in 2013 anxiety wise but that doesn’t mean it isn’t with me daily. In fact it helped me a lot, to realise that actually I wasn’t in therapy to beat it but instead to learn how to live happily with it. I worry all the time about the future and the what-ifs in the world. Note to self don’t read the bloody news if you want to improve this. If only I could take my own advice! I have cut back dramatically but still have a long way to go.

I think having kids increases this worry as well. Lots of my mama friends agree and perhaps this is just what happens when you have them. No one wants anything bad to happen to their favourite people do they?

Anyhoo lets no dwell. 2014 also bought with it a marriage and it was only bloody mine…well ours! We finally got very drunk on rum one evening (I really must get some some stories that don’t begin with I was really drunk!!) and decided we should just go for it. No bells or whistles, just us and our nearest and dearest down the registry office six weeks later. An organiser by trade I tasked the OH with sorting a suit and turning up and then busied myself with the finer details! Was it how I had always planned my wedding day to look? No. But it was ours and it was fab. We got the formal bit out of the way and then had a bloody good knees up. So there we go, 5 years in the making and I was a George no more.

2015 bought many things, it was a bloody tough year to be fair with many ups and downs but I survived. It also bought with it a new job. I now work for This Mum Runs (www.thismumruns.co.uk). Founded by a massively passionate lady who now I am lucky to call a great friend of mine we have over 1500 mamas running all across the UK. With the new job has come a load of new buddies and as I mentioned yesterday a renewed love of fitness. 2016 is my year of getting strong and I started it off well today by eating loads of shortbread. Basically I am eating all the shit in the house to make way for my healthier lifestyle ha ha! Seriously though I have set myself a challenge of doing 12 events in 12 months this year starting with a mud run on the 31st followed by an endurance 10k on 6th Feb. Of the 10k my boss said it was one of the most challenging runs she has done, which is obviously why I signed up. I mean if she (the lady who has been running since 9 and got a hugely respectable top 5 place at parkrun) can do it then why cant I (the lady who is 3 stone overweight, only been running a year and with a slightly reluctant back)? The truth is I know I’ll do it. I’m too stubborn and competitive not to. Even if I have to crawl, which may actually be the case!

Anyway I’ll keep you posted on the event progress as the year goes on.

Moving up to the present and today was moving day for my mum…again. Seriously for an older lady she sure does like to move around. The only person who can beat her at this is my best mate who likes to move every 6 months if possible!

Luckily today was just a small move 15 mins down the road, the only spanner in the works being my mum doesn’t drive so needed me, my big sis and our cars in order to get the job done. Being amazing my neice offered to help as well. Immediately regretting it when her alarm went off at 8am this morning I’m sure.

Upon arrival at mums it was clear the job would take a while, there was lots still to be packed and mum was in the midst of the chaos listening to Bob Dylan (great choice ma!) and generally stressing. No bother thought I, I have my neice in tow so we can just crack on loading up and leave her to it. That was until my neice got sick….really sick. Not hospitalisation sick, just puking outside the doorway of Dunelm Mill kind of sick but still horrendous for her, poor thing. Credit to her she battled through to help us out but come 5pm looked just about ready to keel over. As I mentioned above my big sis also came along to help, and after numerous car journeys to and fro set about specialising in all things technical, and by that I mean setting up mums TV. A job that should be simple but on this occasion took 5 females, 3 tv’s, 2 scarts and an unnecessary trip to Tesco for a cable to actually achieve!! Hey ho we got there in the end and Ma is happy in her new abode.

Finally here is something funny for you. I have decided to cut out booze for January. I know you can stop laughing now. In all honesty I’ll be surprised if I last until the end of the weekend but like a challenge and thought why not. So far the OH has been my biggest supporter and has only offered me Prosecco. Why I thought this was a good idea two days after taking delivery of a large crate of wine I’ll never know. If he has drank it all by Feb I am going to go bloody mad! Anyway wish me luck…all I need to do now is find a replacement activity for hiding in the fridge at 4pm!

Speak soon,

L xoxo

P.S So pleased with the amount of views my post got yesterday, who knew people enjoyed reading my ramblings, you are a lovely lot! x

It’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you…

I’m back!!! Said in a slightly crazy, super excited kind of way. Please excuse the 90’s Aaliyah lyrics for todays title as well but I am pretty delirious to be back blogging again.

Okay so it’s January 1st 2016 and this is my first post in over two years!! I have absolutely no idea where this is going to go or if I will even keep at it, but for the time being lets give it a go and see how long I can do. I am definately not going to be blogging daily a la pre baby number one but I will try for a couple of times a week, hell it might even be three if life gets super crazy.

So what’s been going on?

Well last time I wrote I was just leaving work in anticipation of baby number 2’s arrival. I had finished a life changing course of CBT and was generally at a pretty good if slightly hectic point in my life.

Since then Poodle Doodle (PD as we’ll call her from now on) arrived (slightly tardy at 6 days late) in a fantastic, quick, easy water birth in a paddling pool in our playroom. The OH was brilliant at his very important job of temperature control and my darling big sis was once again fantastic at reassuring me that I could in fact do this (not that I needed it so much second time around, I knew what was coming and jesus, surely nothing could be as bad as first time round!). PD is beautiful, feisty, clever, stubborn, confident and everything you could ever wish for in a child. Again we have been truly blessed and how I lucked out to be the mum of not one but two amazing little girls blows my mind on a daily basis.

PD turns 2 in Feb meaning big M is now nearly 4!! How the bloody hell did that happen?! I never used to believe that you could be like your parents, after a lifetime of being told how much like my father I am, but seriously that little lady is a carbon copy of me. In every way. Some days this is amazing and some days this drives me to drink wine from the bottle at 4pm whilst hiding in the fridge. I wouldn’t change it for the world but man have I got some adapting to do if I don’t want to pull all my hair out by the time I’m forty.

Oh yeah, speaking of age, I turned 30 as well. It took me ages to get my head round being an adult in the equation of my life and even now when my kids look to me for answers I have to pause and remind myself that yes, I am in fact a grown up. As much as the Laura you meet at any festival from May to September will beg to differ.

With turning 30 did come some changes though. Prone to reflection as I am, I took stock of where I was in life and decided it wasn’t where I wanted to be. Having worked in a career I was okay at but never truly loved I decided that no more was I to do things I didn’t have a genuine passion for. Not always easy when you are skint, and I’ve had to be flexible about it. But for the most part I’ve stuck to it and from it has come good if not great things.

I have also taken up running and would you believe it, I actually rather like it. Scrap that I bloody love it. So proved by the fact that despite a recurring back injury I took myself out today on my Physio’s orders and did three laps of a football field in the pouring rain and wind. Big M tagged along for one lap until she realised sitting on dads lap and pretending to drive the car was much more fun and much less wet. It wasn’t fast, it wasn’t pretty and I instantly regretted eating everything I laid eyes on for the month of December but I did it none the less and feel much better for it.

Last time we spoke I had just finished a rather fantastic course of CBT and I am proud to say that I have only had one slight relapse since then which I managed to handle without a revisit. Don’t get me wrong there have been many a panic attack thats had me reaching for the Valium (not least because it makes you feel all lovely and floaty!) but somehow using the tools my therapist gave me I have managed to get through on my own. I still worry about irrational fears daily but am so much better at letting them wash over me and not control me anymore. In my sessions we talked about them being like clouds in the sky, there to see but not to pay too much attention to and for some reason it resonated with me. Maybe because I like to spend a lot of time looking at the sky daydreaming, who knows, but it works for me.

Anyhoo I’m aware that we aren’t going to catch up on two years worth of life in one post and most of you are probably asleep by now so long is this post so I’ll leave it there. However what with it being New Year and all that I really am hoping to keep up with the writing again, I love it and have a tiny amount of time in the evenings these days so I may just be able to manage it. Watch this space….oh and Happy New Year!

Speak soon

L xoxo

Fretting, football, CBT and cake!

Hello everyone,

Well well, so here we are, I am in my final week at work. Despite little M mark II not putting in an appearance until early Feb (if not before as I am fully anticipating) my contract is coming to an end and thus I am due to be a lady of leisure for a couple of months. Who am I kidding, in those months we have a house move and Christmas to contend with so knowing me my time off will be anything but leisurely.

I’m not complaining though because as we all know I have a near inability to relax so the thought of weeks and weeks with nothing to do was becoming quite daunting. I will however on my first day off be resigning myself to the sofa armed with magazines and chick flicks on the strict orders of my big sis and don’t tell her I said so but I can’t bloody wait!! (Feel free to send me film suggestions as I don’t think my brain can handle another Bridget Jones Diary marathon!). After that though it will no doubt be much prepping and sorting for the move. Oh and perhaps some sleeping.

Little M is going in to a toddler bed this weekend you see,  long in advance of the arrival of her little sister, in the hope that if we do it sooner rather than later any disruptions coming our way will be a distant memory before D-day. I am fully expecting some turbulence however so will make the most of my days off to catch up on any of the sleep all you normal people get at night! Credit to her she tends to always surprise me with these things so you never know she may make the transition nice and easy but if advice from all my mummy friends is anything to go on it won’t be plain sailing.

I’ll no doubt let you know how we get on in the weeks to come.

Last weekend was absolutely fabulous.

Saturday was spent hanging out with a lovely mummy friend and her gorgeous daughter who also happens to be little M’s BFF. Much cake was eaten and the world was put thoroughly to rights. The OH was also in attendance but after elevenses he headed for football. Singing the Peppa Pig theme tune all the way….ah the joys parenthood. I can only imagine the flack he got for this in the changing room.

Sunday was NFL day. We have had our tickets booked for this for quite some time and as is my nature as a long term anxiety sufferer I had been stressing about it for a fair while. Not the usual where will we park and do I need a coat kind of stressing, no no. More along the lines of what if something truly awful happens and little M is left an orphan. When I was sufficiently happy that I had scared myself silly with this thought I added to the mix what if the storm predicted to hit got completely out of control rendering us stranded and leaving little M living with Nanny and Grandad for the foreseeable future. Yep that’s how my head works.

 Anyway Sunday morning was spent packing blankets, snacks and a wind up torch into the car….just in case and much to the amusement of the OH and his best mate. I then spent a large length of time making sure that Nanny and Grandad were well briefed on the location of candles and tinned supplies should the storm hit before we were back….that evening. Candles was no problem as I have hundreds and they are all across the house so you don’t have to go far to find one. The extent of our canned produce however was not so abundant and I’m not if they would have been too keen on the idea of a Fray Bentos pie and tinned peaches for their dinner. I had baked a pumpkin pie during my NFL fever thought so if all else had failed they could have eaten that!

Needless to say nothing horrendous happened and the storm barely left a scratch….hooray. So pleased I worried so much about it.

In fact when I got there I even managed to enjoy myself. The OH kindly splashed out on a new jersey and hat for me and as I was driving kept me well stocked with snacks so I was a happy lady. I feel I may have gone overboard on the merchandise though as combine the above with a giant blue foam finger and a flag and I looked a little like a Chicago Bear had thrown up on me. Oh well I most definitely wasn’t the only one and kudos to the group of men dressed as actual Jaguars complete with animal print onsies.

I find the game a little confusing if I’m honest but with drummers, cheerleaders and Neyo as the pregame show what was not to like?! Plus with each game I watch I understand more so before I know it I may actually be brave enough to comment on some in game action and get it right!

Again I am aware this post is getting long so I’ll round up now. Yesterday was my last CBT session and I am so pleased to say that I think I may finally have put to bed some anxiety issues I have had since I was a child. Don’t get me wrong I am by no means anxiety free (see ridiculous worrying above) but it is not as all-consuming as it has been at times over this past year.

To anyone suffering by themselves (and believe me it is more than you think) all I can say is keep battling, never give in and before you know it the sun will shine again, I am the proof.

Have a fab rest of week and I’ll catch up again soon.

Much Love

L xoxo

Face cream and Football

Hello again,

Apologies for the silence but have been super busy at work and as am currently dealing with the US have been spending many evenings working from home leaving me little time or inclination to blog.

The past week or so has been relatively uneventful to be honest. I have been desperately trying to take people’s advice of slowing down a bit so the OH and I have had a couple of low key weekends and believe it or not I feel better for it. Who knew?

So whilst I have had all of this resting time I have inevitably had lots of time to ponder as well, namely about turning 30. Nothing too heavy though, no no, just about whether now was the time to start a serious skin care regime in order to fight of the dreaded wrinkles. In all honesty having done two years of little sleep and with at least two more ahead of me I feel like I may be fighting a losing battle. None the less I love beauty products and I love shopping so last week I waddled into town to see what I could find.

A few weeks back upon receiving a facial during a spa day for a friend’s birthday I was informed that all of my current products were in fact wrong. What I really needed to purchase were their overpriced natural organic ones which I could leave with that instant. Obviously being a modern woman with a sensible head on my shoulders I did what all self-respecting twenty somethings would do and said no thank you, pledging to shop around for a cheaper alternative another time.

Who am I kidding, I just got really over excited and shelled out £45 for a tiny tub of exfoliator that I am praying will last me at least a year so the OH won’t die of heart failure.

I did however resist the urge to buy the rest of the range (see how sensible I am!) so my search on the high street centred on finding a moisturiser. With the beauticians words of keeping things natural ringing in my ears I headed for Lush. And without the OH in tow I was able to shop in peace without a grown man beside me making heaving / cat choking on hairball sounds every five minutes. I’m sure all you ladies out there can relate, the shop seems to have the power to repel men just by its scent.

After a good half an hour of being massaged and having numerous natural ingredients reeled off to me, I left the shop armed with something called Skindrink which is loaded with Portobello Mushrooms. That’s right ladies; mushrooms are the next big thing….so they tell me.

Anyhoo after a week of using these wonder items both expensive and not so I asked the OH if he could tell the difference and without a seconds hesitation he said yes. I was elated, hoorah, no more looking old for me. Until he swiftly followed it up with the fact that he never thought I had wrinkles in the first place! Oh well at least I should be thankful that perhaps it’s only me that can see time taking its toll. Nonetheless I am going to persevere as if nothing else it all smells yummy and encourages me to take my make up off every evening meaning no more waking up looking like a drunken panda!

Suddenly I am aware that this entire post has been about face cream so moving on.

In other news, finally it looks as if things are moving with our house sale so there is hope for us yet. However if I end up moving on Christmas Eve can no one please say I told you so.

Still no word on wedding prep although the OH assurres me he has put the call in. The ball is still very much in his court.

Little M is still fab and growing every day, literally. I’m pretty sure she’s at least an inch taller since last time I wrote. I won her a Minion (think Despicable Me) teddy this weekend which seems to have helped us overcome her loathing of the buggy which is fab. So long as “minmum” as she affectionately calls him is in the buggy too then she is happy to be there.

Little M mark 2 is also fab and doing exactly as she should be. Namely kicking me in the ribs/bladder/kidneys at any opportunity. I pretend it’s annoying but I love it really, it’s nice and reassuring to know she is happy in there.

Lastly the OH, his best mate and I are off to the NFL at Wembley this weekend and I must admit I am rather excited. Not that I understand a bloody thing that is going on but it’s a fun day out and if the OH can get me a giant foam hand I may be the happiest girl in the stadium! Worry not there will be no twerking a la Miley (bless her) but at least it makes me feel involved. Bump is now too big for my Chicago Bears T-shirt so a giant foam hand is obviously the next best thing!

Will write again next week

L xoxo

Horses, purses and potential nuptials (emphasis on the word potential!)

Hello everyone,

So where were we? Oh yes following on with our manic weekend.

Sunday was family day so as we are always up with the birds anyway the OH and I decided to take little M to Horseworld early doors and make the most of the day.

It’s a fab little place (in fact not that little at all!) and there are much more than just the horses to visit. Little M was particularly taken with the ferrets but was even more excited to discover the huge array of indoor slides and ball pits for her to throw herself around in.

I cannot describe the feeling of dread watching the OH dangling my tiny baby over the edge of the sheer drop slide and her squeals of delight as she landed in the ball pit. She so robust and confident sometimes it’s hard to remember she’s not even two yet. And also that dangling a child anywhere by both of their arms is never a good idea. As learnt by my own mum when she had hers dislocated during a rather rambunctious playtime as a child! It’s funny the stories that you hear from your parents that stick in your memory. I wonder what ones will stay with little M?

So anyway after the craziness of resisting the urge to run and hide every time little M threw herself off another slide or piece of climbing apparatus, the OH and I took the opportunity to grab a coffee in the sunshine whilst she marvelled and diligently attempted to mimic the crow of a cockerel. I don’t know what was funnier, her terrible crowing or the baffled expression on the poor birds face!

Before we knew it, it was time to head to the OH’s parents new abode in the Shire for lunch. Now I say lunch but knowing what social butterflies they are we were pretty sure they may be a delay in the ETA of lunch so we stopped for a little snack en route. Good job as well because shortly after our arrival some other family friends arrived and before we knew it we were all in the pub. Hooray!

Well I say hooray, for the OH at least it was a good excuse for a couple of beers in the sun. I however opted for the much more sedate orange and lemonade. As much as I love being pregnant I’m not going to lie I like a drink so I certainly am looking forward to a large glass of red and some stilton post baby! While we’re at it lets throw in some brie too.

I thought I would be less restrictive with this baby having suffered no problems with little M but I feel I should give them both the same chance so have been sticking to the guidelines as much as I can when it comes to what I can and can’t eat. Like I said in a similar post a couple of years ago you don’t want to be the one in a million person that gets listeria, and judging my luck, it would be me!!

The afternoon was lovely and the in-laws new house sits in a perfect countryside utopia. I’ve already assured them they will never want for a house sitter. Especially in the summer!!

Now I say in-laws but it is common knowledge that the OH has yet to put a ring on it. Well he has committed to putting a ring on it but we haven’t actually got there yet. Five years later.

Much chatter on Sunday was had about the wedding, especially after we just so happened to stop for drinks at the most gorgeous wedding venue I’ve seen in sometime. And believe you me; I have looked at a lot. I think it got the OH to thinking though so I’ve left the ball in his court to make enquiries. Don’t get me wrong I am all for finally tying the knot however we have been here a few times and then life has gotten in the way so to avoid me getting my hopes up too early I’ve left it to him. Watch this space people; we may actually not be sixty when we get married after all!!

Upon returning home after a fab day I went into a blind panic upon realising that I must have found Horseworld particularly amazing on this visit as I had decided to donate my purse and its entire contents to them. Baby brain has really taken over this pregnancy and I am more forgetful than ever.

For someone renowned and employed for being organised this is not a good thing.

Luckily for me however some absolute saint had handed it in (complete with cash) and I had the joys of a massively long trip to the other side of the city on Monday to receive it. Who needs a lunch break anyway?

Aside from my trip across the city Monday was pretty quiet although I have now noticed that little M has inherited my love of the music video. When we got home after nursery she was able to tell me all the animals in the new Katie Perry video complete with sound effects and dance moves. What a legend, now we just need to work on the genre!

The rest of the week has been nice and chilled to make up for our super busy weekend. I have tried so hard not to book too much in this weekend but its creeping up already. So far it’s just a trip to see Helen Fielding at a Literature Festival (I am proud to admit Bridget Jones and my similarities to her have raised many a smile in my family) but I’m pretty sure there will be more social engagements before I know it. Ah well. I pretend I hate it but I love being busy really. With friends and family like ours what’s not to like, they are all fab.

Will update you soon with any more amusing happenings.

Speak soon,

Lxoxo

Rushing, writing and resting…(well planning to!)

Hello all,

Well I must say I really am pleased with the fact that I am again finding the time to blog. I think taking the pressure off by not blogging everyday has really spurred me on to keep it up. The only difficulty I am finding now is filtering through what to include and what to leave out. Don’t get me wrong at least now you don’t have to listen to my wildly exciting evenings of washing and ironing but it does appear that we get up to rather a lot.

I’ve always thought that we lived a rather sedate life but friends and family have informed me that in fact no, we most definitely do not. As you will see from the rest of the post.

So I left on my post Fleetwood Mac high. I literally can’t get enough of Sad Angel and am making a prediction for a number 1 hit, especially if they headline Glastonbury as they are rumoured to be doing. Oh yes, main thing to note today. I am now the proud owner of Glastonbury 2014 tickets, and even better than that, the OH is coming too.

We do have the slight issue of childcare to arrange but as I mentioned to my lovely mum when I called her at an ungodly hour for anyone without a toddler, that is what grandparents are for and between them and my fab sister I’m sure we can work something out. I’ll give you a warning now, Glastonbury is the highlight of my year so expect much rambling on about it over the next few months (after much new baby rambling of course!).

Anyway, following on from Wednesday I was still so tired that Thursday was a calm one. The OH was out so I decided on settling down to watch the auction of the Gromits that we had spent many a weekend chasing around the county. I am now in possession of a lovely canvas depicting a photo of little M with every single one which makes me smile every time I see it.

The auction was incredible and reduced me to tears immediately. Whether this was due to peoples overwhelming generosity or the fact that I had devoured an entire tub of magnum ice cream before lot 10 I can’t be sure. Gromitosaurus painted by a friend of mine (@HuncanD) raised a staggering 24k which made it even more worthwhile to watch. The OH was not so enthusiastic however and after five minutes of viewing upon his return promptly fell fast asleep. Was it the auction? Was it the beers?  Who can tell!

Friday was pretty uneventful which looking back was a relief as the weekend ended up being chaos.

Somehow I went from a visit to my sister, to not having a free hour all weekend. Don’t get me wrong I love being a social butterfly but all this rushing around when preggo is having some negative side effects. Namely being a sweaty breathless mess thirty minutes in to any activity that I undertake at anything faster than a snail’s pace. I think its living in a city that does it. We just seem to live our lives at one hundred miles an hour. So proved by my sister kindly pointing out that we had all but ran around town during what was meant to be our leisurely shopping trip. I really must try to slow down. Luckily baby is keeping up with me at the moment and still doing well but it’s not a good idea for either of us. You forget how much strain being pregnant actually puts on your body. Also I am well aware that what precious rest time I do get at the moment will turn to dust as soon as she puts in an appearance so I should make the most of it.

One amusing episode from shopping is that now little M has decided to add shoplifting to her repertoire. Upon leaving Wilko’s after dashing in for a cake tin (don’t ask me why I was dashing as I wasn’t in a rush) I looked into M’s buggy to find her beaming at me and brandishing some Imperial Leather Lavender Shower Gel. See even she is trying to tell me to calm down! I was MORTIFIED. Quickly we hurtled back into the shop with me loudly berating little M that she must never pick things from the shelves without telling mummy. I replaced the bottle and apologised to the staff, leaving without a problem thank goodness.

Note to self, do not park buggy near shelving unless I fancy a trip to court…which I don’t.

After I had whizzed home from shopping I had less than an hour to prepare for dinner with the girls. Sadly there was no dancing involved so my Stevie Nicks moves will have to wait for the festive season (which is good as I need some more practice!). What were involved were lots of catching up and girl talk which I really miss so I’m glad I headed out despite feeling tired and a little anxious.

That’s another thing, tiredness sends my anxiety into free fall so I really must endeavour not to do too much, however I also have to balance this with not not doing things because they make me anxious. Lucky me hey, what I would give to not spend a vast amount of my time thinking about thinking. I know it will get better but on bad days it’s a real pain!! Thank goodness I’m good at multi-tasking otherwise I don’t think I would ever leave the house.

Anyway there is more to tell from the weekend but I feel this post has got very long so I’ll leave it for now and check in later in the week.

Speak soon,

L xoxo

Touche Eclat, tardiness and top hats!

Hello everyone,

So on the whole this week is going rather well. Who am I kidding this week so far has been AMAZING! As I mentioned in my last post I went to see Fleetwood Mac last night, an item that has been on my bucket list since I was a teenager, and it was truly fabulous.

Anyway more of that in a bit, before I launch into how I want to be Stevie Nicks let me fill you in on everything in between.

Monday passed off completely uneventfully except for the usual battle of wills to get anything done that involves little M. As per I had to spend most of my free time with her negotiating the toilet, putting clothes on, not throwing pots of humus at me or her father and generally not ransacking the house for the very small amount of time that she is in it on a week day.

On the upside she seems to have taught herself the ABC. When I say the ABC that is pretty much as far as it goes. I’m not saying I’ve suddenly developed a genius who has self-taught the alphabet but she does now seem to know the first four letters which in my proud mummy head I think is pretty impressive. Whilst the OH was changing her nappy she politely requested he sing the ABC song which had the pair of us flummoxed as neither of us actually know it. Well I know how the alphabet goes but as until Monday I was unaware it came with a song. Que much veiled enquiring at nursery to get one of the key workers to teach it to me. Needless to say since then I have been requested to sing it on loop so if anyone needs a rendition do let me know!

Tuesday morning was stressful. Whilst I was able to enjoy the luxury of having a shower without an audience and put my make up on without someone poking me in the eye with the Touche Eclat (the best under eye bag concealer EVER if you were wondering) I also had to get the car to the garage and have the tyres changed and get to work for a meeting all before 10am. Unsurprisingly I did not achieve this.

Yes I managed to leave the house not looking like a clown but it was upon getting to the garage that I hit the hurdles. Lovely as the mechanic was I  would have really appreciated he just did the necessary to my car without the added bonus of filling me in on his life story, complete with run ins with the car tax office and ex wives the other side of town who he loved but couldn’t live with. When I left over an hour later I was unsure whether I had just been to the garage or RELATE. As a result of the intense conversations I had also only been left with 30 minutes to get to work. Because of this someone had also called ahead and informed every construction worker and taxi driver in the city of my route and they had diligently formed a massive slow-moving queue prohibiting me from getting anywhere fast. Or at all at times!

Therefore I arrived at work looking stressed and sweaty (it really is a joy being preggo) and I was 15 minutes late for my 30 minute meeting. Luckily for me I have an understanding boss. Especially when I then had to remind her I was on a half day and leaving early.

Tuesday evening was Fleetwood Mac time. The drive to Manchester was a doddle and when I had got over a mild bout of anxiety about being in such a small space with so many people, my mum and I had an absolute blast! Stevie Nicks is my hero and I have now decided I will be investing in numerous glittery shawls and a top hat to emanate her.  Shawls I’m sure I can rock but I feel the top hat may take some getting used to. Also I’m not sure how the dancing like Kate Bush will go down but I’ve a girly night out coming up on Saturday so I’ll give it a bash and let you know!

I’ve been waiting to see the band since I was a teenager and they really were everything I had hoped and at times even better. I fully recommend if you can get tickets.

Due to my tardiness in booking a hotel in Manchester, combined with their extortionate prices, Mum and I made our way to Stoke to spend the night, arriving just after midnight. Clearly M mark 2 had such a fab time at the gig she decided to keep up the foot tapping in my tummy for about an hour. Unfortunately she is not quite as talented as Mr Fleetwood and caused quite a disturbance whilst I was trying to nod off. Who needs sleep anyway? The less you have the more overrated you realise it is.

That’s a lie, I’m bloody knackered!

This brings me on to this evening, I am home now and after preggo yoga pretty much ready to hit the hay.

I know slow down me.

But really if I don’t get my head down now, I will still be pooped on Saturday and I don’t want miss my first girls night out in ages!

Speak later in the week,

xoxox